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I am a little white liar.

We spend a lot of time accolading the importance of telling the truth over here.

“Jax, did you paint semi-trucks on my iPhone?”
“Huh? What? I love you.”
“Put your honesty cap on, buddy.”

We talk about telling the truth, we champion honesty, hoorah for us and our noble endeavors.

As I was patting myself on the back for a job well done, Jax asked me to go swimming. As smoothly as a dirty politician, I said, “Ehhh, I think you had enough sun yesterday.”  (What does that even mean??)

Really, I just don’t want to take another shower today. Because that is clearly too much effort for a Sunday. Clearly. I know you have my back on this.

I started thinking about the last week. These all happened:

Question:
“Why do I have to have yogurt? Why can’t I have tortilla chips?”
Lie:
Yogurt is better for you.
Truth:
Because the yogurt has been in the fridge for a year and a half, and I need to get rid of it.

Question:
“Why can’t I listen to KidzBop?”
Lie:
I want to talk to you, and hear about all the exciting things that happened at school today!
Truth:
Because if I hear the Chipmunks singing Beyonce one more time, I am going to tie your iPad to a lawn chair and throw it in the pool.

Question:
“Why do I need a nap?”
Lie:
Buddy, you look so tired. A nap will make you feel better.
Truth:
Orange is the New Black.

There it is. I am a routine teller of white lies to my child. Let’s call this Epiphany Sunday. And guess what, in the name of that solitary shred of sanity I have left, I am going to keep on white lie trucking.

I love you all. (Oh crap, I did it again.)

Sincerely-ish,
Becca

Rebecca Masterson is a writer, speaker, and an advocate for children. For more from Rebecca, follow her on Instagram.

15 Comments

  1. lifeofacampcounselor

    Ah, but don’t you think that the white lies a mother tells are for everyone’s sanity?

    Reply
  2. lifeofacampcounselor

    Ah, but don’t you think that the white lies a mother tells are for everyone’s sanity?

    Reply
  3. Marci

    Dying!!!! Orange is the New Black!!!

    Reply
  4. Marci

    Dying!!!! Orange is the New Black!!!

    Reply
  5. Mom

    I wish Piper would have had a much longer sentence, because she’s out in six months and I can’t stand for the series to end! Can they make her do something so that she’s in there longer? I need to know what happens to Tasty, Red, Vee and Pornstach (who I think I saw in the flesh at the go-kart park yesterday!).

    Reply
    • Rebecca Masterson

      Pretty sure you’ll know what happens to Vee at the end of season 2. #spoiler

      Reply
  6. Mom

    I wish Piper would have had a much longer sentence, because she’s out in six months and I can’t stand for the series to end! Can they make her do something so that she’s in there longer? I need to know what happens to Tasty, Red, Vee and Pornstach (who I think I saw in the flesh at the go-kart park yesterday!).

    Reply
    • Rebecca Masterson

      Pretty sure you’ll know what happens to Vee at the end of season 2. #spoiler

      Reply
  7. Sasha

    Hahaha, love this!! I too admit to being a white liar to my kids! Good to know I am not alone. 🙂

    Reply
  8. Sasha

    Hahaha, love this!! I too admit to being a white liar to my kids! Good to know I am not alone. 🙂

    Reply
  9. Chibimoekko

    It’s not just to kids, but to our partners as well 🙂
    As long as the intention is good, no harm done? LOL~

    Reply
  10. Chibimoekko

    It’s not just to kids, but to our partners as well 🙂
    As long as the intention is good, no harm done? LOL~

    Reply
  11. Hi Hairstyles

    I have realized that over the course of developing a relationship with real estate homeowners, you’ll be able to come to understand that, in each and every real estate financial transaction, a commission amount is paid. Eventually, FSBO sellers will not “save” the fee. Rather, they try to win the commission by means of doing an agent’s task. In doing this, they commit their money in addition to time to conduct, as best they can, the tasks of an broker. Those duties include displaying the home by means of marketing, delivering the home to prospective buyers, making a sense of buyer emergency in order to trigger an offer, organizing home inspections, managing qualification assessments with the loan company, supervising maintenance tasks, and assisting the closing.

    Reply

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