Time Out Bottles. Pretty, glittery flowy gunk housed in a repurposed water bottle. This is sooooo Pinterest. In theory, a stressed-out kid grabs this bottle, flips it upside down, and like the magic of Calgon from days of yore, the gentle swirling of the glitter from top to bottom resets a child’s mini brain back to peaceful and serene.
They are supposed to look like this:
Was this going to work for my son? Not a snowball’s chance in hell. But we Autism moms will try anything. Very easy sell, we are. Come to my door and offer to sell me a paprika-covered cardboard box that soothes tantrums by emitting high frequency colonial lullabies, and I will look at you like you are the scamming scum that you are. And then I will buy ten.
So off we went to Target. Bought the glue, a 12-pack of glitter because that’s what they had and God Forbid I go to one more store, and looked around my house for a water bottle. We didn’t have any jumbo water bottles, but right as I was asking myself how dangerous a glass mason jar would really be, our ABA therapist popped in with her bottle of whatever fancy water it is that she drinks. We were off to the races.
Mix, shake, add some glue, mix, shake, all the glitter, all the glue. We followed the directions like engineers. Totally proud of ourselves, we were. This was going to rock the Time Out Bottle world. And yet…
I am taking orders. Plain or paprika-covered. You choose.