Today. Woke up, got ready for work, 6 year-old son circling around, all in order. Pop child into car, and off we go to school. We pretended we were a fire truck on the way (I make a great SHHHHH water from a hose sound), and I am totally Mom of the Year at 7:15 am.
On my way out of the school drop-off circle, I roll down the window so I can hear Jax yell “GOODBYE MOM! I LOVE YOU!” from the playground. A little positive reinforcement for my day.
Today, after Jax basically announced that I am Mom of the Year, I started to drive off, and heard him yell “Hey Mom! Will you love me forever?” My heart stopped. Then hurt. Of course I will. OF COURSE I WILL, you little dragon of a boy with the mischievous eyes who we flew across the world to adopt. And my little boy, with his attachment issues, his Autism, his need for stability, asked me if I would love him forever…right as I drove off and couldn’t answer.
Life ruining event #1.
But that’s not all, folks!
Today was the first day ever he got to ride the bus home. THE BUS! This is, and I am not exaggerating, comparable to Christmas for Jax. He gets to ride the bus home on Fridays, and this was Day 1. I prepared for this – it is in my calendar, I called the bus driver to confirm. And I told Jax that I would be waiting for the bus, for him, at the end of the driveway.
I went to work, then looked at some office space we already decided that I need (because, again, I’m a blogger now), and say, Hey, I have some time, let’s go have a snack at Postino’s! Friday! Office Space! School Bus! Bruschetta! So off I went with Meghan & Stacy to have a snack and a glass of wine. Paid the bill, laughing, talking, plenty of time…and the text comes that says, “Jax should get dropped off any minute!”
WHAT???? It’s only 2:45!!! They said 3:20! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.
I am going to miss the bus my child is on because I had a glass of red blend instead of heading home. I am a deranged, lunatic of a mother who chose wine over her son. Mother of the Year? How about Lady Douchebag of the Year. I am calling CPS on myself. I practically have the number on speed dial.
Kudos to my girlfriends, man. They flew out of that place with me, were not even slightly embarrassed when I announced to the entire valet line that I had an emergency and had to cut in front of them, and made me laugh as I was tearing up, and about a 3-2-1 from a breakdown. Jumped into Stacy’s car, got to where I was parked, yelled at the red light, loudly cursed at the 15 children in the crosswalk, read the GO BECCA GO texts from Stacy & Meghan (I am sure they pulled over to send these), and raced home like Danika Patrick (but I didn’t look as good – and I doubt she swears at kids in a crosswalk).
I made it. THANK YOU GAWD I MADE IT. I made it with about 1 tiny minute to spare, but I was there, at the end of the driveway, when Jax stood smiling at the top of the steps, orange backpack in place, and yelled “Mom! I rode the bus home!” And I was there when he jumped down the steps and ran right into my arms. EXHALE.
Then my guilt and I handed him my iPad, let him play Temple Run, and baked cookies (from Costco cookie dough – hey, I am who I am).